The Genesis Domino

How do we guarantee success in our life. ( a draft think piece on what it really takes to become successful )

We all want inspirational success in our lives. The kind of success that gives us the freedom to do whatever we want. Freedom from the toil and frustrations of our day to day routines.

The kind of success that we seek is often far removed from what we are familiar with. Perhaps we think that to attain this success needs a massive change in our existing lives and we fear what we might have to risk. Perhaps you fear that chasing your goals will uncover your limitations prompting feelings of foolishness.

For some reason, we believe that to have that success we will need to work super hard and constantly push ourselves beyond the limits of our capabilities. It has become popular belief that there is no other way but to endlessly hustle and sacrifice to reach our goals. Or that we need to commit 110% of our effort.

Or, if you’re truly committed you can pay $10,000 for a special access weekend getaway with the Guru himself. That’ll show your goals that you are serious.

You don’t have to sacrifice your life for success. You don’t have to burn the ships at the shore. You don’t need to make massive commitments for ‘radical change’.

That’s all bullshit transformative advice that sells books and courses.

The obvious problem with all of the above is that it is unlikely to result in sustainable change in the behaviours needed to really drive success. A $1500 gym membership won’t change your situation if your unwilling to walk around the block 3 days a week.

These are failed ideas that have become dogma ….

Spem Succussus Alit, (Success nourishes hope) the motto of my Clan, translates today as Success breads Success.

What I like about the motto is that it reminds me that success is a beginning state. Our corporate culture has caused us to only see success as an outcome state. Results focused. This is why we struggle with success. We don’t see success as an input. A foundational state. A successful way of being.

For success to be successful the practice needs to be sustainable and the outcome achievable.

We are inspired and motivated by the idea of the goal state. How great it will be once we have achieved the outcome. But those feelings won’t sustain the effort required to actually achieve the outcome. We need to find ways to value the beginning.

This is where the idea of Genesis Dominos comes in. Directing your focus towards your outcomes usually fails. Turn around and learn to focus on the beginning. The things you actually can control for.

Genesis Dominos; are small indirect changes in your daily routine that hold the power to change the direction of your life. They will often serve as micro actions that inspire traction towards greater improvement. Low energy or effort with high leverage potential.

One of the reasons why they are so valuable, even essential, is that they provide traction towards your goals. Traction – Trackable Action. More on that in a bit.

Now I know what your thinking. Break large goals down into easy to chew pieces. Nope. We all know how to do that but for some reason we still struggle to make sustainable change. This is not about goal management in the way you are typically taught.

It is not the big things that set us on a path to success. It is the small, seemingly insignificant, things. Little triggers that will often feel far removed from your ultimate objective. The hidden gems of success.

The big trap is that you see the small things as trivial. But leverage starts with the thin edge of the wedge and the tipping of one domino sets in motion a cascade of falling dominos. It starts out slow at first with just a few small changes that you can comfortably integrate into your routine.

But what small things should you target.

A good Genesis domino will inspire a culture of steady improvement in the person that you are.

Such as taking the time to read each day will direct your attention from social media consumption. Reading then inspires thoughts that you take notes on. Taking notes inspires you to flesh out those thoughts into short articles with greater context. That, in turn, inspires you to start your own blog or Youtube channel. In time you become an authority on your topic and create social connections and a coaching program that earns you a generous side income. And on and on.

Some minor examples from my own life. ( early days )

My legs used to ache and I lacked general flexibility. The discomfort from the tension in my legs used to keep me awake at night. To resolve this I decided to do stretches every day. I created a simple 28 day calendar that I could use to mark off days that I stretched with an X in the box. Effort: 3 minutes a day.

After a while I took pride in doing stretches and marking of the box each day. I knew that I was doing the right thing. With improved flexibility I gained better sleep and I am now able to focus better on reading and writing and have the energy to do other higher value tasks.

As you can see, stretching my legs wasn’t a component part of my writing goals but contributed to solving an underlying problem that impacted my state of mind from lack of sleep. Not all genesis dominoes are this indirect.

Keeping a clean kitchen.

I never really worried about my kitchen. Sure I would clean up but it was rarely spotless with everything in its place. That changed when I considered the benefits that flowed from doing a proper clean each night after dinner. Self worth, order and identity.

A 2nd order effect is that it is easier to keep clean and I am more likely to keep it clean on the go. Now when I look at a pile of dirty dishes in the sink, from the previous day, I am reminded of my poor choices from the day before. How I chose to watch some forgettable program on TV instead of having order in my life.

3rd order, My girl comes home to an orderly kitchen and her mood is positive and appreciative of one less cleaning task . Good for our relationship.

Make your damn bed.

Jorden Peterson is often mocked for making this statement. He provided it as advice for creating a better life. Or something along those lines. What people overlook is something that is desperately needed in our society of hedonistic souls devoid of purpose and meaning in their lives. His instruction is about creating order from the chaos.

You take pride in making your bed and in doing so you show yourself the first step in the path to ordering your life towards standards and values. And, In turn, meaning , purpose and identity. Not a bad outcome from making your damn bed.

So make your bed and put an X on your calendar. Take pride in it because that is what success looks like.

The examples from my own life are all small things. But these small things started to change my mental culture and the way I wanted to see myself. I took pride in being able to mark off the box each day. I have the beginnings of a set of standards and values that define me. My preferences are slowly changing. I spend less time scrolling social media as a consumer and more time writing as a creator.

Big things change when small things change. It is not the big things that create change in your life. It is the repetition or accumulation of small things over time.

It’s not about what you do so much as doing it. A domino behaviour inspires second and third order changes that flow on form the first. It is the behaviour that gives you traction that you can leverage to the next step. It shows you the type of path needed to make progress in other areas of your life as well. Once you have the model for change you can apply it again and again with complete faith that you will succeed.

Most of us are sailing a ship full of small holes hoping to reach the promised land. No matter how hard you focus on the horizon or try to put wind in the sails your voyage is doomed. You need to fix the small holes so you can stop sinking.

Causes you to look at your standards and values.

We all like to think we have values and standards. But in truth most people are probably suffering a serious deficit, if our society is a reflection of truth on the matter. Nothing is ever my fault or the fault of my unexplored expectations. This has become the natural state of peoples thinking.

Contrast that with the minority of people that assume responsibility for everything in their lives. At least as much as they can. These people have standards and values that are reflected in their choices.

When you have standards you have a code that informs your decisions and actions. If you don’t have your own code then you will live by the code prescribed by others. That is probably why people have lost a sense of agency over their lives and thus nothing is their fault.

Beyond Ralf Waldo Emersons quote “A man is what he thinks about all day long”, a powerful principle for change, it is the small tasks that help you get traction that lead to change. The genesis dominos inspire those small changes. They are your leverage.

My domino for writing isn’t to pump out an article a day. It is simply to read and take a note or two.

For better sleep and mental focus it’s to stretch my calf muscles.

For order in my life it starts with making my bed and cleaning the kitchen.

I am creating the conditions for change that make change easy and sustainable.

When you know you have found a genesis domino that, when done, gives you leverage to greater progress or success, then you will see many other things as a distraction. What you value will start to become ordered by priority. Your allocation of time, a minute to minute recourse, will be spent more wisely. Time allocated to social media or TV will be willingly redirected to tasks that serve your greater good.

Getting into the habit of doing small things causes me to do other small things that I would otherwise ignore as ‘not being worth the small effort’. Over time my tolerance for doing just a little bit more has improved.

A teaspoon left in the bottom of the sink is trivial. But it belongs in the dishwasher. The reward for doing it seems to be ought-weighed by the effort but my standards argue otherwise. If I do not serve my standards on such a small thing now then I will likely compromise them in other areas of interest later.

I remember a few years ago a popular expression that was floating around socials was Do The Hard Thing. But if doing the hard thing was an easy choice to execute then there would be a lot of successful people.

Let’s be real, we don’t like doing hard things. Hard things are hard to do because they cause us discomfort. The genesis domino approach addresses this challenge by focusing on such small things that you will gladly do them, at least on most days.

Working towards our ultimate goals, that live sometime in the future, involves ongoing time and effort without the reward of achievement. Micro successes inspired by genesis dominos shorten the time between effort and reward. The simple act of marking an X on the calendar may serve as reward enough. Or the satisfying feeling of knowing you have made improvement or progress. Each day you look to get that feeling again.

Every new year people declare resolutions to make the new year a time to chase goals. Even if we declare them quietly to ourselves, we all pin hopes that the new year will offer some gains. Most will fail to even take the first step to gain traction towards their goals.

We have an unfortunate inclination to idealise goals and outcomes and not so much the micro actions that would get us there. No one is going to cheer me on for sitting at a laptop and writing this draft. Such things are not celebrated in our culture. The right or wrong of this cultural norm is of no material consequence to me. But I think we must learn to at least celebrate our own efforts when we know we are doing the right thing. Take pride in it because it does matter.

Now, I want you to think of a goal that you would like to achieve in the next 1-5 years. Most of the time a goal will be in the area of health, wealth or relationships. You may have several goals but chose one for now.

Once you have written it down I want you to take some time to think of the simplest action that you could take. Get ridiculously granular. It might feel embarrassing in its simplicity. Just one task that you can do each day that inspires or enables progress in the general direction of your goals. Something that reorients your behaviour, choices or thinking in a slight way.

If you wanted to walk or run each day you might decide to put your running shoes on. It’s no guarantee that you will go for a run but it is something so simple that you can guarantee that you will do it. Once it’s done then it can inspire you to run more often. That is the kind of action you should be looking for as a Genesis Domino.

In my example of writing I simply read on a topic of interest. While I may not take notes or write an article each day, it does inspire those options. But I can guarantee 30 minutes of reading. I spent several days drafting this article. Instead of sitting down to write I simple sat down to give it a read through without obligation to write at all. Reading reorients my thinking in a preferred direction. It sets the foundation for it.

Your objective is to do this thing every day and mark a big X on a calendar for each day you do the task and a (-) for each day that you don’t. Sequential X’s make a chain of X’s. Try not to break the chain.

Note: The calendar is just your reminder of your preferred actions. If you miss days that’s OK. There is no need for shame because changing habits, big or small, is challenging.

Mankind is unique in our ability to make choices in life. A pattern of good choices compounded over time can lead to unimaginable success. A pattern of bad or lazy choices compounds to a life of limitation and misery. Actually, it is said that all one has to do to be successful in life is to fuck up less. Translation- make fewer bad choices.

Well that’s it for now. I hope I have left you with something to consider in your journey. I will be writing more on the subject in the future as I track the progress of this idea in my own journey.